Give yourself time. Be gentle with yourself. Connect with others.
Here are some things to consider, a few months after your loss
Many widowed people tell us they feel overwhelmed with support after their loved one has died. Family and friends fly in and the house can seem busier than ever while people rally around to help and care for you.
Tasks like planning a funeral and working through the logistics and paperwork can be a distraction that gives us purpose when all else is lost, however, once the dust settles and people slowly go back to their own lives, reality can set in.
Some days you'll feel okay. And that's alright. However, it's also okay to not be.
Some days you will feel better than others. Embrace these days and make the most of them, but don’t be surprised when the next wave of grief sweeps in.
However, at the same time, don’t be disheartened; in time, it will feel easier. It doesn’t mean you’ll forget your partner, or lose the feeling of sadness at the loss; but you’ll simply be able to enjoy your life more consistently again, and you’ll learn to bring the love you have for them with you as you move forward.
Remember that everyone copes differently. You may find the lead up to significant dates difficult, while others may find the day itself or immediately after the hardest. Whatever your experience, it is valid.
Here are some ways to help take the sting out of meaningful dates:
Consider counselling; there's nothing wrong, and everything right with getting help.
Your doctor can give you a Mental Health Plan that includes Medicare -subsidised visits to a psychologist, along with a referral to someone who specialises in grief counselling.
Even twelve months later or years down the track, counselling can help us accept our loss and come to terms with the unexpected changes it has bought to our lives.
Give yourself time, you are not alone.
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